It’s 2021, and I’m riding the train backwards again.
The last time I wrote (exactly two years and a day ago!) it was before the pandemic! What a world. So much has changed, both in the world and in my own little life!!!!!!
But maybe not that much is different, as here I am again.
Yeah, so … it’s 7:56pm, and I’m listening to some piano music (“Ambiguous Lucidity” by Ryuichi Sakamoto, from the album “Playing the Piano 2009 Japan”) here on this Metro North train.
My mom told me when I was little I would always ask (since we could hear a train’s noise from our house), “What color is the choo choo?” Well, to answer my question … this one is mostly red and off-white inside. And it’s officially fall, which feels right for these colors…
I’m teaching two new workshops this semester. One is called “Wind and Computers.” I just had a day of 1on1 meetings with students at their desks to see how their projects (which are mostly “calm technology” in nature) are coming. But a handful of students cancelled their meetings due to a busy time in the semester. So I had a lot of random holes throughout my day. To be honest, I was kind of relieved by these cancellations, because it’s also a busy time for me, and I was feeling pretty sleepy today anyways. But it made me wonder how to fill these funny gaps, especially when they’re unexpected…
I’m usually pretty good at this. As in … I feel like I historically get really energized from having a little time to do something, and deciding what to do in it. It’s somehow freeing. So today, I put on my favorite music and started doing some admin work for 45 minutes. Specifically, I made an international wire transfer that I had previously been procrastinating because it seemed over-complicated. But it wasn’t that bad. And in a previous break, I took a walk and saw some beautiful parts of New Haven I hadn’t seen in years. In particular, there were a ton of people hanging out in the austere courtyard near the Bienecke Library. It made me want to see my favorite artists doing grand projects for “public” space, well, even if it’s just university grounds. I thought … maybe the current money circulation will allow for new exciting uses and activations of public space by my favorite current day artists and architects … if we’re lucky.
Anyway, lately … admin and communication work often occupies what feels like half my days. Often I feel pretty spread thin, doing like 7 projects at a time and needing to juggle communication for all of them. Part of me would really like to work more on a team to ease this… and when I think about grand projects like a library or a courtyard, I feel kind of small to just be focusing on mostly ephemeral websites for artists. I wonder about something more lasting.
But what I like about my best websites -- is that they really work for the individual who updates them. I work in close collaboration to understand their patterns, rituals, etc. to create something that's built to evolve in the future. I try to create sturdy but still flexible systems. And I think that's something I'm good at, and something I'd like to continue on with...
I would really love to work on a team who is developing a technological product that supports a lifestyle of immersion and reflection. I suppose it would be a product for my life -- I would have to be a user. It would need to be something that's meant to last a while. Maybe it has light social aspects, but it’s really a companion for a more solo journey. And it is offline first … it supports different ways of interacting with the internet. It's interested in being healthy.
But I’m also trying to think about … if I could spend my day doing X, what would that be? I mean … I really like traveling and walking around. But I also really like making videos, and I feel like I’m really good at them. I feel like videos go hand and hand with exploring and walking around (ideally).
But I don't want to work alone on these videos. I want to have my own show but be on a team of others, all working towards a similar mission. Maybe this is PBS of the Internet. Or whatever it is. I just want to be doing my own little show in the corner but also be able to hang out and chat with everyone else and have people as guests on my show sometimes. Is that so much to ask?
I am receiving a call anytime now, so more on this some other time. I hope you're doing well, wherever ( & whenever ) you are reading this.
I do not chase, I attract. What is meant for me will simply find me ...